Parental Sin

You say you want me to tell this story,
but you won’t hear what I have to say,
If everyone is a homophobe,
that means you too.

I grab your arm as you jab at my chest.
You want to know all about it, correct?
The cabin, the old men
who dropped their pants.
Saw the beer cans they drank and spasmed on.
I remember how hot is it was that day,
but I was cold.
I played outside, playing with myself
for many hours
and I wanted some cold beer.
When I heard a moan,
I turned and saw grandfather with his pants on the floor
saw another man dropped on his knees
as I ran out the door.

I never said a word about what I saw,
only now with these words.
I knew they were terrified,
saw them jerk back, as he released
with such a spasm
When I ran out the door,
all four spasmed with a great moan,
essence poured onto the dirty floor
which I never went back
Grandfather always goes back,
with that smirk and smile
and special twinkle in his eyes.
As I crawled out the closet,
I could hear dance music
over the moaning of men in spasm release.
As I leaned against the wall, and stared at him, a spasm and moan
sent a stream toward his mouth
that hit the dirty floor.

Later, I felt as if I had left my soul
stranded on that dirty floor
where everyone was out for a spasm and moan.
Where rage destroys everything in its wake.
Go on, set your mind at ease.
The devil in the gilded hall
looks too familiar, doesn’t he,
and underneath it all,
like me, you just want to forget.
Tonight, though, for a while you’ll remain awake,
listening to the sounds of another’s passionate moans,
then, comforted, turn over in your bed
and close your eyes,but, the child like the snake
will reenter your life by the unlocked door of sleep.